What I was thinking while at the gym

Here are a couple of the many random thoughts I was thinking while at the gym:

#1 I want my looks to be the last thing that walks in the door with me, because for sure they'll be the first to leave!
What I mean - depending on looks is so dangerous. Good looks are temporary, at best. (Not claiming to be particularly blessed in that area! Just referring to a preoccupation with image). Your character stays with you always. I rather my integrity and character open doors for me.


#2 Men, love your wives. A lot. It will give them inner beauty.
What I mean - 1st Corinthians 13 says love is patient, kind, not jealous or rude, not willful, not cranky, and doesn't keep score, among other things. When you love her, you make her feel confident and beautiful. Which has its benefits (some of which you may enjoy).


(Below, footnotes that are longer than the post!)

** Re. the depending on looks thing, that's deserving of its own post. For sure. Sometime soon. Meanwhile, you can read Ecclesiastes. J/k. (Sort of!). I know some of you will strongly disagree with me on this. Should be an interesting discussion!

** Re. the being loving thing, (this is for all of us) it's not optional if you're a Christ-follower. It's "permission to play" (as Pat Lencioni would say) - the most basic thing in our lives. This is an area of constant struggle for me, but I don't get to say, "I'm an Irish/Latin blend so I am hot-headed, deal with it!"

You Want Custom Made?

We all like custom made items. We'll pay a premium for them. I think we all have a lot more "custom made" in our lives than we realize! It's been on my mind.

Custom Made Snowflakes
Peter and I celebrated my 21st birthday in Norway. We'd gone for a picnic in the woods, and snowflakes started fluttering down. Peter's first snowfall! Not just any flakes, though, custom made. They were perfection, like six-pointed stars, and fell on our fingertips like confetti. Magical!

Custom Made People
God brought some very custom made people into my life to teach me leadership. George Verwer taught me to run after ministry "fanatically." Frank Dietz (my papa Frank) taught me all about fierce and determined leadership ("if the Lord doesn't go with, we won't go!"). Mr. and Mrs. Aziel Jones taught me about raising a ministry family.

My first pastor, John Burley, trained me to do home visitations while I was still a teenager. He also taught me how to "just sit and think about God." (One of my all time favorite concepts and pastimes!). When I was 23 I was the only female sitting on several national pastors' committees (in a Latin country, nonetheless. Definitely custom made!). I had to time and again boldly go where no woman had gone before, and deal with some pretty intense attitudes! (This is not a boast thing, it's a "only God could have come up with that" thing). Etc. etc. etc.!

Custom Made Training
And here we are. For me (confession, I feel ageless!), it has been 29 years in ministry! Yikes. I am soo thankful for the leadership training God took me through early on. He helped Peter and me accomplish some pretty amazing things! I am thrilled about all the on-going adventures we are living.

And, along with our everyday adventures, I am blessed to work with and mentor some younger women. I believe that for each and every person (that would include you!), God designs a custom made training program. What a blessing to watch those we love grow and learn.

Custom You!
So squeeze the last bit of juice out of every adventure you face. (It's a Spanish saying I love, don't know if it translates well - "saquele el jugo"). Life is very much custom made.

** Disclaimer - this post triggered by excessive reminiscing associated with a recently celebrated birthday!

New Things Grow

Seems like every fall, I feel a prompting to re-post this. Got that nudge again today. That probably means it's for someone out there... could it be you? It has been exactly one year since the last time.

I am sitting in a Starbucks thinking about growing things.

Four years ago, when we moved into our house, there was a huge 60 foot (at least) Tree. It was a hub of zoological life in our back yard. A virtual Grand Central Station of flora and fauna. Squirrels, birds, foot long fluorescent green lizards, children… all were drawn to it.

Two years ago hurricane Wilma visited. For a day we watch it assault our beloved Tree. Through the night it howled, as our Tree and thousands of others fought a losing battle. We watched 20 foot branches weaken and begin to tear, giant invisible hands pulling on them until they fell, with an inaudible crash, to the ground.

Morning came; our Tree was devastated. By God’s mercy it didn’t cave in our home. It simply fell apart, becoming a pile of wood and leaves, taller than me, filling our entire yard, destroyed by an event totally outside its control.

I miss that big old shady Tree, so full of life. It made me feel safe. It gave me a sense of roots, of stability when we first moved here and were weary with transition.

The yard has been transformed. Grass grows where it could not grow before, because the Tree’s shadow used to lord it over all. A new tree now grows in its place. Not the same at all, but pretty. Several feet away I planted an avocado tree. Can’t wait to taste the fruit. On the rebuilt fence nearby morning glories grow. Always my favorite flower, because they are new every morning, just like the mercy of God.

And in an opposite corner, I have two papaya trees waiting to be planted. They were given to me as babies, six inches tall each. Now they are a few feet tall, and more than ready to be planted. I very much look forward to their fruit.

I’m planning on having lots of containerized trees also. Oranges, mandarins, lemons… and maybe a mango tree or two in the ground.

New things grow when old things fall apart. It’s the way things work. My big old Tree in an odd way was a special friend. I would look out the window at the kitchen sink, see its huge trunk enveloped with life, and feel safe. But its foliage, so beautiful, was too big.

It was top heavy and in the end that is why it could not stand the storm. Its presence fell over the entire yard, and a lot of other things couldn’t grow in its shadow.

When we hauled all the old branches out, and the stump was ripped out of the ground, I had no inspiration as to what would replace it. I didn’t understand why it had to go.

Now I do.

My thoughts drift to other places in life. More than once I have had cherished relationships torn apart by storms the hit us unannounced. Work situations, life situations, seemingly unnecessary situations…

But new things grow when old things fall apart. Always.

Secret Crazy Streak

I'm typing on a big clonky Dell laptop, but I feel like I'm cheating on my little Vaio laptop. The Vaio is on life support, working sporadically. It is working today, after refusing to power up for several days. I think it chose to cooperate because my daughter Faith (9) is writing a book, and it appreciates her slender fingers pecking away at the tiny keyboard, fitting it perfectly. The Vaio and Faithy are happy.

I know, I'm a little bonkers. How do you get attached to a computer, and think it has a personality? This bit of nutsiness I inherited from my dad. He's a photojournalist. His camera has always been named Mencha la Andariega (Mencha the Wanderer). Actually, Mencha was like Lassie, in that there were several of her in succession, all entrusted with the same identity.

Then there was Matilde, my dad's very old, very noble, Underwood typewriter. He wrote most of his early books and columns on her. My mom's dad, who ran a gold mine in Costa Rica, gave it to him. My dad was attached to Matilde. Her twin is pictured above.

So you see, such strangeness does run in the family. And I like it! Do you have a little secret crazy streak?

Sunshowers

This video shows non-typical behavior in typical South Florida weather! I love sunshowers because often, a rainbow follows. So I encourage my kids to play in the rain... I think it's good for the mind.

In the spirit of playing in sunshowers, so to speak, I have been thinking about a blog redesign for months. There are four areas about which I am very passionate. Sometimes I feel like I need four different blogs, and end up with a traffic jam in my head - which means nothing gets written! Leadership is probably the one about which I am most passionate. The other three (all dependent on leadership) are family life, women's issues and of course, missions and social justice. I want to explore each one, and not miss any experiences for my readers or myself.

So, I'll continue to blog here, but by the end of October (for no reason other than my birthday is in October!) the blog will be entirely different. It will have separate pages/streams for each of the subjects, so you will be able to go straight to your area of interest...

I'm also adding a couple of other fun surprise features! I can't wait!

Thank you for always checking in. I appreciate you all. Stay tuned, I guarantee you'll be glad you did!
Now tell me - I really wanna know - do YOU like to play in the rain??

Axioms to Grow Lives By

We are reading Axiom, by Bill Hybels, for our Bloggers Book Study. This is a fun book for many reasons. It is one of those books you can: a - go back to frequently; and b - quote frequently!
If you missed the first couple of days, you can see what Troy Gramling had to say, and Miguel's insights.

Axiom 17 - ONLY GOD
Had to put this one in caps!! "When God accomplishes activity that no human being could possibly orchestrate, you have to respond somehow." And no human can take the credit when God stirs hundreds to get baptized, or to give an unusually large offering, or when He exceeds our expectations in every way. ONLY GOD.

Axiom 18 - Plus-Side/Minus-Side
A growing church must be economically sustainable. A key to this is to keep a healthy balance in your hires between plus-side positions (those that tend to generate an increase in offerings) and minus-side positions (those that tend to consume more financial resources).

Axiom 19 - Institutionalize Key Values
Thanksgiving Day is an example of a day that has been created to institutionalize the value of thankfulness. In a church, you should force yourself to honor key values regularly and publicly. This can be an annual day to honor racial inclusiveness, or to focus on the needs of an impoverished world. "What you value in your church must be raised up, taught about, and celebrated on a regular basis."

Axiom 20 - This Is Church
Are we allowed to have favorites? I have to say, this is one of mine. The point of This Is Church is that there are sacred moments throughout our days, (even for very "high level leaders" i.e., those carrying huge responsibilities), when you get to touch another person's life in a holy way. God asks you to relax for a moment from your Very Important Responsibilities and pray for a hurting individual, or celebrate a milestone. "Christ said he was going to build 'His church' - a community of real people with real, beating hearts that would be attentive to each other and... quick to extend mercy and grace and love."

Axioms 1-20 in the book are about Vision. Axioms 21-42 are about Teamwork.

Axiom 21 - The Three C's
When seeking out and hiring new staff members, Hybels uses The Three C's as his grid for prioritizing people-qualities: Character, Competence, and Chemistry. Only after a person passes the character test will he move on to the competence test. Once that is confirmed as well, it is indispensable that the person have the right chemistry for the team. Otherwise, he does not move ahead with a hire.

Axiom 22 - Never Say Someone's No for Them
Leaders will ask God for the most qualified and visionary person to fill a role - they make a wish list of the very best person on earth to fill a position. Then, inexplicably, they undermine their own cause by making the assumption that that person will never say "yes" to an offer. But it is important to not limit what God can do in this situation. You need to ask and pursue, and not say "no" for a person by not even asking.

Axiom 23 - First Tested
One of the biggest mistakes any leader can make is putting people in significant leadership roles without first accurately assessing their spiritual depth, relational savvy, ability to work within a team, and ability to handle crises. This creates an insecure leader at a high level, who can in fact cause untold damage. Leaders must first be tested and observed, whether it is through informal activities, traveling together, participation in projects, or even long conversations.

Axiom 24 - DNA Carriers
This may be one of the hardest to quantify, but definitely one of the most important. When a leader assembles a team, he must make sure that they are all full carriers of the DNA of that vision. They can't merely hire individuals to fulfill tasks. Each must be a vision carrier. "Great leaders take the time to explain to their team what they feel deeply about - what issues they would take a bullet for and why. Then great leaders show their staff members how to live out that DNA."

I think we can use these, not just in building a ministry or business but, (with a little adaptation) in raising our children as future leaders!! Tomorrow, visit Mo's blog for more great sayings!

Paying Attention to God

We have changed it up nicely for book four of the Blogger's Book Study! Yesterday, Heredes introduced us to the first three chapters of Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire by Jim Cymbala.

Let me tell you about chapters four and five. I have found myself tearing up several times as I read this book, because it is autobiographical, and the examples of God's faithfulness are impressive. I can't give you a "summary" - but walk with me now and we'll pick up some gold nuggets!

The Greatest Discovery of All Time
Cymbala traces the history of prayer to Genesis 4:25-26. This was after Cain had killed Abel. It states that "at that time men began calling on the name of the Lord." To pray means to "cry out," to "implore aid."
Throughout history, the great distinctive of God followers is that we call on the Name of the Lord. Satan's strategy with God followers has always been, "Don't call, don't ask, don't depend on God." In fact, Psalm 14:4 defines the wicked as people who do NOT call on the Name of the Lord. The author puts it this way:

"The devil is not terribly frightened of our human efforts and credentials. But he knows his kingdom will be damaged when we begin to lift our hearts to God."

When there have been huge manifestations of the power of God (also known as "revivals"), they have always been preceded by people calling on God with passion. This is also true on a personal level. Cymbala shared the moving story of his teenage daughter, who, even as the Tabernacle was experiencing "success," was very far from God. It was a two and a half year ordeal that ended miraculously when at the Tuesday night prayer meeting they called out to God on her behalf.

This chapter made me ask myself... Do I call, connect, focus my attention on God the way I should, and understand that He is really the ONLY answer?? Or do I allow myself to think that presentation, professionalism, etc. will substitute for prayer? Hmm.

The Day Jesus Got Mad
Mark chapter 11 shows us a very angry Jesus, ripping through the temple because it was being prostituted by commerce, and used for purposes other than what was intended.
What was the intended use of the temple? Jesus quoted Isaiah and shouted out that it was to be "a house of prayer for all nationalities and races"!
The point Cymbala makes in chapter five of this book is this:

"Jesus is not terribly impressed with religious commercialism. He is concerned not only whether we're doing God's work, but also how and why we're doing it."

Here then is the test for a church - if people leave a meeting talking only about how wonderful the message was, or how beautifully the singers sang, then it is not successful. But if they leave with a greater understanding of who God is, saying things like, "Isn't God good" or "He really touched me tonight" then your purpose is fulfilled.

The church should have a sweetness in the air, an aroma of prayer. Prayer is the defining mark of God's dwelling. In fact, the author points out that God launched the first church in an environment of prayer, as people did nothing but wait on Him. When the church calls out to God, that is when grace is released, and hurting people encounter a loving God, and they in turn learn to call out to Him. This is Paul's description of this process (per Romans 10):

• Sending leads to preaching.
• Preaching leads to hearing.
• Hearing leads to believing.
• Believing leads to calling on the name of the Lord.

Calling on the Name of the Lord is why the church is here on earth.

"If a meeting doesn't end with people touching God, what kind of meeting is it? We haven't really encountered God. We haven't met with the only One powerful and loving enough to change our lives."

Bloggers Bookstudy: Coralling Your Stuff!!

Collect, process, organize... collect, process, organize...
We are being challenged to go through this process so we can be optimally efficient - and reach our full potential!

If you missed yesterday's Bloggers Bookstudy, head to my buddy Mo's blog and catch up. He does a great job.

Collect, process, organize...
In chapter 5, David Allen walks us through the first of these - Collection. Collect what? All the things about your work and life that have your attention, and place them "outside your head" - i.e., in a collection in-box. He recommends at least a couple of hours initially spent on this step, before moving on to Process stage.

I appreciate that it seems like Mr. Allen has peeked in on my life! It made me realize just how alike all we humans are. Some of the examples of "stuff" he is referring to, which we need to capture and deal with once and for all, are: random business cards we've collected, little bits of electronic equipment sitting in drawers unused for months, equipment we want to move around, etc.

Thought for you - do you have a lot of these "open loops"? Do you really need to keep that business card, are you really going to repair that little broken something... etc.?

Two Collection Activities - Physical Gathering & Mental Gathering

Physical Gathering
Search your physical environment for anything that doesn't belong where it is permanently, for incomplete things that will require a decision. These must be put in you in-basket.

What not to gather: supplies, reference material, decoration, equipment. These stay put.
Careful, though. Yes, true reference material won't need processing... but a stack of outdated reference material will. Get the point?
Issues in Collecting:

1. If an item is too big to go in the in-basket, write a dated note on a letter size piece of paper to represent it. (It's a good idea to always date everything you hand write, by the way!)
2. If the in-basket pile is too big, create stacks for the time being.
3. Don't go crazy - as in decide you're going to redo your entire house when you start the collection activities. If you don't really have a huge window of time, you'll end up in worse shape, having started and not able to finish.
4. If you have existing lists and organizers, they still need to go in the in-basket.
5. If you run into something incredibly urgent, and you must deal with it that second - go ahead. But the best is to either put it in the in-basket, or create a special emergency stack!

Thought for you - is it time to make some changes? Are you feeling nudged to actively implement this system? I am. I have intuitively implemented some of this, but am challenged to go all out.

Carefully scan your house or work environment, moving anything requiring a decision to your in-box. Bear in mind things like: Can I donate any of this? Are my nostalgia items still meaningful to me?

Mental Gathering: Mind-Sweep
After the physical gathering, you need scan your psyche! Write out each thought, idea, project or thing that has your attention on a separate plain piece of paper. Do not make a list, as each item will need to be processed individually.
Go for quantity - you can always toss out slightly ridiculous items later!
Mr. Allen gives us a long list of "incompletion triggers" to help with the mind-sweep process. I won't list them all, but they include:

• projects started, not completed
• evaluations/reviews
• phone calls, emails, etc. needing to be initiated or responded to
• marketing or promotion ideas
• systems, like phone/filing/computers
• professional development /training/resumes
• information you are waiting for

The INventory
"If your head is empty of everything, personally and professionally, then your in-basket is probably quite full, and likely spilling over."
Add to this ANY and ALL items in the "in" portion of your electronic devices (email, voicemail, text).

Wow, at this point I would need to grab a cup of tea and just sit! No need to despair, because tomorrow, Matt Miller will help us take that in-box from "In" to "Empty"!

Tell me what you think! I know some people that would totally rebel against the thought of taking control of their lives like this - it scares them. Others are super organized and have lived this way since grammar school!! Many of us are somewhere in the middle... Where are you?

Getting-It-Done Leadership

Welcome to our on-going Bloggers Book Study! If you missed the first installment, you can catch up here!

CHAPTER 3 (pages 51-72)
This chapter tells the story of how Willow turned vision into action.

It Takes More Than Another Pep Talk - Some leaders believe that if they just keep talking about the dream, the vision will automatically be accomplished. Getting-it-done leadership is entirely different. People need a step-by-step plan to move from vision to reality.

Refining Vision With a Strategic Plan - In the mid-nineties they decided at Willow to formally draft a strategic plan.

In refining the vision, they highlighted three key areas of emphasis for the next five years: evangelism, spiritual maturity of believers, and outreach (with focus on caring for the poor) .

Setting Goals With Balance In Mind - It is quite interesting that, for the first twenty years of Willow, they never had formalized specific goals. As Hybels worked with his leaders to refine the vision, he decided it was time for specific goals for each of the areas of emphasis. Clear goals would allow them to maintain the balance between all three.

The leadership circles at Willow prayed, wrestled and thought about which specific goals to set. Borrowing from Jim Collins' book, Built to Last, they looked for goals that would be BHAGs: big, hairy, audacious goals, that humans could not accomplish without God's supernatural activity.

Finding Champions - Hybels announced the numeric goals publicly. The leaders were anxious and challenged. Hybels realized he had to find "goal champions" - leaders willing to to lead out in achieving each of the goals. This created an atmosphere of renewed excitement and adventure!

In 1996, Hybels presented the refined vision to a very receptive congregation. There was great excitement! They started tracking progress. Many areas were growing, but not all. Though there was an energetic and dynamic environment, Bill Hybels asked himself, what more could they do?

One Thing Missing - He started feeling very uneasy. He persisted in asking questions and looking for answers to the uneasiness, even when it made others uncomfortable.

He discovered that his daughter had college friends that had felt very connected with the Student Impact ministries at Willow, but not with Willow itself. This was a revelation. He says, "Without my being consciously aware of it, Willow had evolved from a close-knit, single-identity, biblically functioning community into a decentralized, multi-identity, loosely connected federation of sub-ministries."
How to rectify this? The executive leadership team now had the challenge of connecting every staff member directly to the strategic plan.

Church Basics: Alignment - So began the process of aligning the staff with the vision. Willow persisted in the alignment process, carrying out months of meetings to help everybody see that the church could not be a federation of sub-ministries. While many leaders were receptive, Hybels encountered difficulties with some.

It was most definitely a long, bumpy road. Eventually, Hybels felt he had to give the resistant members of staff an ultimatum of sorts. "I'm not asking for your begrudging participation in this alignment," he told them. "It's one-hundred-percent time. If you can't give it, or won't give it, it's time for you to go."

As Bill describes it, this was one of the most taxing leadership challenges they have ever experienced at Willow. But he has no regrets. Leaders from each department now present both their progress and their plans twice a year. Every staff member is a stakeholder in the overall vision.

A Modern Day Tragedy - Why is it that some people and some churches settle for having little or no impact in their communities? The great tragedy is that only a fraction of pastors worldwide are actually exercising their spiritual gift of leadership. The consequences of this neglect are far-reaching. The gift of leadership is the gift that catalyzes all others.

All leaders in the Kingdom should commit to fully developing their leadership potential. Leaders have to decide: will you simply give pep talks and dream, or will you manage for results?

Bill addressed this question at Harvard Business School, when he was challenged as to why a church would want to use best practice - shouldn't they stick to "spiritual" matters? His answer? If we really believe the church is the hope of the world, then we must lead in such a way that there are results.

Was Jesus Laissez-Faire? (In other words, did he just sit back and not interfere?) No, not one bit. He was passionate about building his Father's kingdom, and he expects church leaders to build prevailing churches. He promised to walk alongside each leader, empowering them. Hybels concludes, "It's time for church leaders to really lead. It's time for us to be about our Father's business with diligence, dependence and get-it-done leadership."

Chapter 4 at http://mauriciotinoco.com tomorrow

Bloggers Bookstudy? What is THAT?

Do you have hours on end to read all those books on your wish list? I didn't think so!! I never do. That is why I am so excited to be a part of this innovative new venture - the Bloggers Book Study. Actually, perhaps we should call it a books study!

This is our online collaborative effort to collectively review six books in the next nine weeks. Twelve bloggers, six books, one daily post. See the schedule of posts and blogs here and participate with your thoughts, comments and questions.

I guarantee this is going to be enriching. Please join me on this summer journey!

The first book is Courageous Leadership, by Bill Hybels. My good friend Heredes Ribeiro is first up to bat today, recapping and discussing chapters 1&2 at www.heredes.com. Tomorrow it is my turn, recapping and reviewing chapter 3.

What do you think? Are you in? So let's head over to our first stop, right here!

The Power of Less

This is the book I refer to in the previous blog post. It is really all about common sense, but he synthesizes things nicely!

A Lesson on Criticism!

The most encouraging? funny? cute? thing just happened!

Peter and I have been reading The Power of Less, by Leo Babauta, together. It's a good book.

One of Babauta's challenges is to form a new habit over a one month period. The author gives some useful tips:

• Choose only one habit at a time.
• Make the goal simple, so that it is doable.
• Have a trigger for it - i.e. do it at the same time every day, after something else that you already do every day, such as brushing your teeth.
• Do it every day for 30 days.

We each chose a habit to form for the month of June. Peter and I chose to exercise, as we need more consistency in that area. Our 20 year old daughter chose her own goal. Ben (10) chose to practice his guitar. Faith (9) chose to write (she loves to write).

Tonight I got home quite late from a meeting. The kids decided to do their goals, even though it was late.

Ben went off to practice his guitar. Faith chose to read her work in progress to her sister. She argued that was practicing her habit, because, "That's part of the production, because you get criticism. Getting criticism is part of the production! I read it to Ben, and he gave me criticism."

I'm sitting here trying to figure out where she learned that! I am part of an evaluation team that gives feedback on programs and messages at church. Does she even know I do that? Maybe not. Did she learn it at school?

I don't have a clue, but I am encouraged... she is learning a skill which some of us never master. It's two-fold: to collaborate with others so that your gift can be maximized, and to slow your spirit down to assess and listen.

My children really are my teachers.

What lessons are you learning from the children in your life? We'd love to hear!

The Wire Ring

[PB&J 9]

As an all volunteer crew, we lived on support. Everyone raised a certain amount of money, based on nationality, and it all went into a common fund. We were given our toiletries, medical care, etc. Our clothes came from "Charlie" (aka Charles of the Ritz), a room full of donated second hand clothes which we picked through when we needed something "new." We each received US$15 per month for spending money.

Peter and I had dates memorable for their simplicity! He would buy us each a drink, and a chocolate bar to share. We could meet once a week for about an hour, in a leader's office with the door cracked open... Peter would set up a little boom box, and we'd sit and talk. That is how we started to learn about each other.

I.T. continued. We had to keep things on the "downlow." As we neared the end of the leadership training, our team went for a week long assignment in a town called Middelfart (I kid you not!) in Denmark.

One day, one of the men on the team asked Peter to take a walk with him. There was something pressing on his mind. He confided in Peter as his leader that he was interested in a gal on the team... (yours truly). Awkward! Secret or no secret, it was time to tell the team about our relationship.

We returned to the ship. The leadership training had ended. The full blown I.T. program now began. Our SP was made public. In fact, it was published in the bulletin! "Frank Dietz has granted social permission to Barby Zuniga and Peter Ward." I wanted to dive under the table when my brother thanked God for it over the loudspeaker at dinner, as he prayed for the food!

Our relationship went through its own intensive training. Peter and I saw each other every day, starting at 5:30 in the morning to jog by the quayside, on to many other group activities, until late at night. We were in all kinds of pressurized situations together. There was also some opposition to our relationship, stemming from the situation in South Africa. I had leaders take me aside and express doubts about us as a couple, mostly because my ministry was more public, and Peter's seemed to be more behind the scenes. Ridiculous now, but then we had to listen to, and consider, all the input.

Our being together was so right! Besides, never in my life had I seen anyone as bright-eyed and energetic at five o'clock in the morning as Peter. That was enough for me. God had dropped this fellow from another continent into my life. He was arranging things, just as I had asked...

We met in Chile, Peter asked for social permission in Germany, it was made public in Norway...

Now we were on another land team, this time at a ministry center in Sweden, which helped persecuted Christians in the Soviet Union. He proposed. Just like with the initial SP, I told him I'd pray about it, and tell him Yes on Monday. Monday came, it was Yes.

What to do about a ring? We had very limited funds. And I didn't know my ring size. After getting kicked out of a jewelry store in Holland when they realized we weren't going to buy anything (just trying to find out my ring size!), Peter made a little wire ring, sized it to fit me, taped it to a letter, and mailed it to his mother in South Africa. She would buy us a ring, and mail it to us.

Next stop was Southampton, England. Our first "alone" date was a trip to London. Guess what movie we saw at Piccadilly? The Killing Fields. Yikes.

The days passed. When would the ring arrive?? Our stay in England was drawing to a close. Southampton was the last port before Portugal, and we had very little hope of the ring surviving customs in Portugal! Time to pray hard.

The day of departure arrived, the ring did not. It seemed the prayers hadn't worked. The ring was lost. We sailed away, quite disappointed. As the horizon was fading from view, we were sitting despondently in one of the lounges.

The Chief Purser walked by. "Peter, can you come by my office? I have something for you."

Peter rushed to the office. The Purser he held out a little package. "Can I guess what this is?" he asked, smiling.

Peter was overcome with thankfulness. The Purser expressed his amazement at what had happened. He told this story: the local Pilot had steered the ship out. When the Pilot's boat came to take him back to shore, it brought an unexpected, very last minute mail delivery! God had come through for us.

Now we could get officially engaged. It was April. The ship's Director gave us $50 for dinner, a local family offered their vehicle, and we drove out to a beautiful restaurant by the ocean in Porto, Portugal...

We had a superb dinner, then walked out alone onto the rocky beach, under a shiny soothing moon, water shimmering, breeze blowing... He placed the ring on my finger, and we became fiances.

The Irony

[PB&J 8]

Peter had been invited back to the ship by the Training Director, to restart a training program called the Intensive Training (I.T.). This was a boot camp type program modeled after the Outward Bound courses.

Participants in the I.T. had to go running every morning at 5:30 a.m., read a certain amount of books, listen to a certain amount of message tapes (now it would be podcasts), attend classes, be on call 24/7 to unload cargo containers or for any other job required - and keep a log of everything. The I.T. tested every area: physical, emotional and spiritual. (Side note - It was an amazing program and many alumni have gone on to be true world changers and influencers.)

And so, Peter set about relaunching the I.T. To do that he would need two male and two female team leaders. The department heads gave him a list of candidates. I was on it.

Enter, once again, that dread Pirate Roberts. I mean, that dread Social Policy.

You see, generally speaking, the SP applies only to your first year with OM - unless you're in the I.T.! So, though my first year was up, and Peter was beginning his third, he still could not be forthcoming with his feelings...

[Dramatic pause]

Well, when he saw my name on the list, he wrestled with it, and decided to be open with his leader. To his surprise, his leader encouraged him to approach the Ship's Director (who also happened to be my "ship father" as we were assigned to families).

The Director gave him permission to share his feelings with me... He also expressed serious doubts about what my response would be!

Peter was undaunted.

[Meanwhile, I had sensed he'd be making his move, so I had written my mother telling her about him. Back then, OM asked that, for cross-cultural relationships, you have your parents and pastor's blessings. I found out later that when Peter had been home in South Africa he'd shown his parents a picture of me and given them a heads up on what might happen.]

He spoke with me on a Friday. I told him I'd pray about it for three days (come on! you can't make it easy, gals) and tell him Yes on Monday! Monday came, and it was a Yes.

And so, a brave new chapter had begun.
We now had Secret Social Permission, for the duration of the I.T.

And we were studying openness and transparency with our teams.

The irony.

Intermission

[Just re-read the story thus far... I sound like I'm having fun re-telling it, and I am. But please don't mistake my lightheartedness for anything other than absolute wonder at the mercy of God that He has kept us thus far! Without God's grace I would have messed the entire thing up irreparably! Actually, in one or two more entries you'll agree with me on that.]